Signing Off

Friday Night. Cathy goes off the clock and sits down with me and we actually have a conversation for an hour, maybe more. I've known Cathy for a long time, and she rarely speaks to me, so I'm fairly amazed at this sudden friendliness. Is it an omen? I believe in omens. But what could it mean? I have this funny feeling, and I can't quite put a name to it. Regardless, I enjoy her company. I'm glad she joined me.

Saturday Night. Terry clocks out and I tell her, "Join me and I'll buy you a beer."

"I'm going to Mac and Maggie's," she replies. "Do you want to join me?"

So we go to Mac and Maggie's. We talk for an hour. I have a good time. I like Terry and I enjoy her company. But when I leave, I have this funny feeling again. And tonight, I can put a name to it. I know what it is.

It's the feeling you have when you're out of place, when you're with people who are with you for lack of anything better to do. It's the feeling you have when you're with people who would rather be somewhere else, if only they had somewhere else to be. Maybe you've never had that feeling. Maybe you can't identify with it. I'll tell you this: live long enough and you will have that feeling. Oh yes, you most definitely will have that feeling. I find myself thinking, "What am I doing here?"

I'm glad Cathy and I finally had a conversation. I'm glad Terry and I sat at the bar in Mac and Maggie's and talked this Saturday night. I had a good time.

It's not a bad way to sign off.

...October 10, 1999